ARE YOU FIT TO DRIVE ON THE STREETS OF ASIA?
Take this sample Asian Driving Licence Test to find out. (Time limit 30 minutes. Or more if you need it.)
1. When you see a red light…
b) stop, except if you are on a bicycle, in a hurry, pushing your mobile noodle stand, or it’s raining
c) ignore it
2. Give way to…
a) vehicles on the right
b) vehicles bigger and faster than yours
3. If you are involved in a collision…
a) buggar off fast
b) wait for the police
c) exchange blows with the other driver
4. Always drive on the correct side of the road, except if…
a) you are in a hurry
b) you’re not in the mood
c) it doesn’t suit you
5. When taking the Motorbike Licence Practical Test, you will be automatically disqualified if you…
a) fall off
b) don’t fall off
c) collide with two or more other bikes
6. When driving a car, it is permitted to…
a) force all motorbikes to give way to you YES/NO
b) carry upwards of ten passengers, providing they fit in YES/NO
c) cut across lanes without signalling YES/NO
d) There are no restrictions YES/NO
HOW DID YOU SCORE?
3. a or c
5. A trick question. There is no way that you will be disqualified if you have paid the required fee.
6. a) Y
If you answered all questions incorrectly, don’t despair. There are still three options open to you. You can (a) pay an increased fee, (b) send your brother to take the test for you the following week, or (c) ask any relative who holds an army rank above private, or holds a government position, to intervene on your behalf.
In my new book, EFL minus the B.S. (now available on Amazon) I have touched on this theme, along with many others. In the book you’ll find answers to these questions: How can I get an overseas English-teaching job? Why in the hell would I want to get an overseas teaching job? How can I survive that job once I’ve got it?